What am I afraid of?

"Write about what you are afraid of." 
       I would say for most, they would agree that death or spiders are their biggest fears. But mine? My biggest fears are to continue on running back to the same thing that ruined my heart. Or that love is no longer love and people just say they love one another just for the act of saying it. That all the memories are no more than just memories and the kisses were just kisses. Why is it so easy to be so consumed by a poison to your heart? Knowing damn well that in the end you will always just end up back to where you started - broken and alone. They say love is the cure to your heart.. is it really? I am so afraid that love is dead and humans have lost their hearts. I am so afraid that I have lost my passion for love and I'll never look at it the same anymore. I am so afraid of being alone with my own thoughts. I am so afraid of going through life without being able to share my experiences with someone who would appreciate them just as much as I do. I am so afraid of letting someone in once more to just be broken down and to lose myself all over again. I am so afraid of letting go...Why? Because when you love someone, your love never fades - even when you say it has. The people you love will always be in your heart, that is a fact. The comfort of knowing he's just a call away or that I could trust him with my life or that I could just lay with his head under mine and all the problems in the world would vanish for that moment. How soft his eyes would be and how I know he holds the whole world within himself. How I know there's more, there is always more to him than what people think. To let go of him is like letting go of my heart. Why would I want to do that? But like I said, I am so scared to continue on running back to something that is ruining my heart. I say I am afraid that love is dead, I know it's not but it does kill. I now know why so many humans forgive and stay, because they are afraid of the unknown. Because one person holds their heart. Because leaving would  be like killing a part of themselves... 
      With all of this said, fears are only as bad as we make them. If I were to continue to dwell in these fears than where would my life go? It would just be a continuous cycle of the same events repeating themselves. Nothing good happens staying in these comfort zones of ours. Therefore, do not dwell in your fears or your constant sadness. Embrace whatever your current situation is. Embrace all your flaws. Do not let your fears eat you alive and if you do, you're only killing yourself. Remember, sometimes what we fear the most is what we most need to do. It is so easy to be caught up in these fears and hell, just writing about all of this makes me want to throw up but being honest with yourself gets you one step closer to demolishing all these fears inside your head. Keep in mind, not all good things in life come easy... or stay. 

"I think part of the reason why we hold so tight is because we fear something so great won't happen twice."
         - Unknown

"A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes."
          - Ghandi

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
          - Ghandi