The Balance of Loving Yourself and Loving Others
They say once you learn to love yourself you will be able to love others in full. I agree 100%. However, you can easily love others without completely loving yourself. It's quite easy actually. But I've come to a point in my life where I realize that you will never and I mean never be able to make everyone happy all at once. No matter how hard you try. I tend to put other people before myself because I care and love everyone else so much, this can be a problem. This can only be a problem if one, you love others more than you love yourself and two, if you are pouring into other people more than they are pouring into you. For example, say you help a friend out and you are constantly giving them advice and are constantly there for them - you are pouring into them. But on the other hand, they are never really there for you or maybe they are only there for you when they choose to be - your friend is not pouring into you equally. In order to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone, make sure you both are pouring into each other equally because otherwise the relationship will become exhausting and if you are pouring into another more than they are pouring into you, you can become exhausted and you can lose yourself and become unhappy. I was once told, "One of your best traits is that you love and care for people so deeply it's indescribable; however, it is also one of your worst traits." I will never forget being told this because I know it is true. Because I tend to pour into others more than they pour into me. It becomes a problem, because even if someone hurts me I will still try to be understanding, calm, and I will always allow that person to stay in my life. I will always be there for that person. That's a problem, because once you allow that to happen you are putting yourself at danger. Because you soon will become both emotionally and physically drained and that feeling is something I would never wish upon another soul. Find a balance between loving yourself and loving others. Take days to yourself and remind yourself of all the good things you do and feel. Breathe. Do things that make you happy. Then spend days with the people you love. Don't be afraid to cut out the negative ones in your life. They are what's holding you down.
Now, I get that there is something about loving the broken, the lost, the scared. There is something within them that I love. I can see the good in them. But I can also see their vulnerability, their sadness, their hurt; however, I can also see their hope, their hearts, and their love. I understand them. But saying, "...there is something about loving the broken..." is exactly like saying there is something about loving every single person on earth - because we are all broken. The only thing that separates our brokenness from one another are the ways we allow the things that break us affect our actions and our emotions. We are all fighting battles both big and small, whether these battles are between yourself or with other people. I am slowly learning that no matter how big or how small your battle is YOU can overcome IT. Just don't let IT overcome YOU. You are going to have to remember that time heals all wounds, that life is supposed to be challenging, that you should never give up when times get hard, that you should never keep things bottled up inside of you, that you are loved, and that you will get through this. We weren't born to be coldhearted people - we were born to love and help one another. We were born to find that burning passion in our hearts for life - for love. We are going to get hurt, we are going to be scared, we are going to get lost, and we are going to struggle but we are also going to have moments where we become happy, grateful, excited, and feel emotions we have never felt before. Don't let your brokenness, battles, other people, or yourself get in the way of that fire and passion in your heart. Never sell yourself short. It is okay to get hurt - its life; don't let that stop you from loving. It is okay to be scared - don't let that stop you from trying. Love with all you have but remember to love yourself too. Be passionate, adventurous, crazy, but most of all NEVER allow that beautiful shine in you die out, if it does, find it, I promise you no matter how much it may seem like it has faded, it is always there. Don't put yourself down, build yourself up. Allow yourself to feel everything both good and bad and face them headfirst. Remember who you are and who you want to be and don't let other peoples' opinions of you affect the way you feel about yourself. I promise you, you will become stronger, you will learn from everything, and you will be okay. Everything and everyone in your life is both a blessing and a lesson. Pick up your broken pieces and shape them back together. Find yourself. Love yourself - God, I cannot say this anymore. Love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself. Do not be afraid to love you and to love others.
Now, I get that there is something about loving the broken, the lost, the scared. There is something within them that I love. I can see the good in them. But I can also see their vulnerability, their sadness, their hurt; however, I can also see their hope, their hearts, and their love. I understand them. But saying, "...there is something about loving the broken..." is exactly like saying there is something about loving every single person on earth - because we are all broken. The only thing that separates our brokenness from one another are the ways we allow the things that break us affect our actions and our emotions. We are all fighting battles both big and small, whether these battles are between yourself or with other people. I am slowly learning that no matter how big or how small your battle is YOU can overcome IT. Just don't let IT overcome YOU. You are going to have to remember that time heals all wounds, that life is supposed to be challenging, that you should never give up when times get hard, that you should never keep things bottled up inside of you, that you are loved, and that you will get through this. We weren't born to be coldhearted people - we were born to love and help one another. We were born to find that burning passion in our hearts for life - for love. We are going to get hurt, we are going to be scared, we are going to get lost, and we are going to struggle but we are also going to have moments where we become happy, grateful, excited, and feel emotions we have never felt before. Don't let your brokenness, battles, other people, or yourself get in the way of that fire and passion in your heart. Never sell yourself short. It is okay to get hurt - its life; don't let that stop you from loving. It is okay to be scared - don't let that stop you from trying. Love with all you have but remember to love yourself too. Be passionate, adventurous, crazy, but most of all NEVER allow that beautiful shine in you die out, if it does, find it, I promise you no matter how much it may seem like it has faded, it is always there. Don't put yourself down, build yourself up. Allow yourself to feel everything both good and bad and face them headfirst. Remember who you are and who you want to be and don't let other peoples' opinions of you affect the way you feel about yourself. I promise you, you will become stronger, you will learn from everything, and you will be okay. Everything and everyone in your life is both a blessing and a lesson. Pick up your broken pieces and shape them back together. Find yourself. Love yourself - God, I cannot say this anymore. Love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself. Do not be afraid to love you and to love others.
"Then these are my last words to you. Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact."
- William James
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